The Deal (Devil's Brother Book 1) Page 6

  “Yeah, it really is,” he said, nodding.

  “Are you planning to go soon?”

  “I’m not sure yet. We’ll see,” he whispered, and before I could ask him anything else, he continued. “Now, the pathetic joke.”

  “The joke!” I’d completely forgotten about it. “I’m all ears.”

  “So…” He started laughing.

  “Come on! Just tell me already. I want to laugh, too.”

  “Okay, okay,” he said, but he was still laughing after every few words. “My brother Doc claims he thought this one up all by himself, but he probably stole it. He even had it written down and saved it in his closet until Alan, my other brother, stole it. And Doc swears this has worked for him before. So, here goes,” he said. “I was to approach a girl and say: ‘Can you call an ambulance?’ And when she asked why, I was supposed to say: ‘because something’s wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you’.”

  He laughed so hard, the whole table shook. It was amazing to see him like that. If somebody had told me yesterday that Adrian was even capable of laughing so hard, I wouldn’t have believed them. He didn’t look like it, not one bit, but there he was.

  “That’s actually kind of cute,” I said.

  “No, no, no. It’s pathetic. Really pathetic.”

  “It’s lame, yeah, but it’s also cute.”

  I would’ve laughed if somebody had said that to me, but I wouldn’t have taken them for a moron.

  “Yeah…no. Really, no,” he said, laughing and shaking his head. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Thank God I never used it.”

  “Like you ever needed to use pickup lines for girls,” I said before I realized it. The table was too small for me to hide under it, unfortunately.

  But Adrian didn’t comment on it. “I wish I’d written down every bad advice I’ve ever gotten from them. I would’ve read it every single day for a good laugh,” he said.

  “It must’ve been fun to grow up with two brothers.” Probably much more fun than being an only child.

  “It had its moments,” Adrian said. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, grinning. “What did you do as a kid that makes you laugh now?”

  My mouth opened, but I had nothing to say. I thought about childhood. My best memories. They were so few, I remembered every single one. But none of it made me want to laugh. Not then, not now.

  “Can I confess something?” I kept my eyes on the table.

  “Go ahead.”

  “I might be the most boring person on the planet.” At that, Adrian laughed. “No, seriously. I can’t think of a single thing to tell you that’s fun about me.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second,” he said, shaking his head. “What about your friends?”

  “I don’t have any.” I shrugged. “I had a lot, but somehow, all of them are gone now.”

  “How so?”

  With his elbows on the table, he leaned closer to me again. I avoided his face altogether as I spoke.

  “I was always the weird kid. One that listened and did everything she was told. One who always did the right thing. My first friendship lasted five years, but then in fifth grade, she wanted to be this guy’s girlfriend,” I said, laughing.

  I remembered her clearly. Anna was petite, and had big, brown eyes that looked so innocent. She had a mind of her own, and we never really fit well together. I never knew how we made it work for so long, but we did.

  “Just a couple weeks before, my dad had sat me down and gave me a lecture about boys, about having goals, about being too young, that kind of stuff. So I repeated his every word to Anna. Unfortunately, she didn’t agree, and we had an argument. Somehow, it ended with her having to choose between me and him.” I shrugged. “They broke up two weeks later, but we didn’t even talk again until high school.”

  “Wow,” he breathed.

  “Yeah. Like I said, I was weird. I always listened. I never wanted to disappoint my parents, and I thought I was doing the right thing, because what Dad said made perfect sense to me at the time.”

  “It did. It still does. You did good,” he said, and for some reason, that made me smile.

  “Thanks.”

  “What else?” he said the next second.

  “Let’s see…there was Maria,” I said. “My mom’s name is Maria, too, and I always thought that was cool. We were friends for like eight years or so, but then I started dating this guy in high school, and she sort of went all out. She talked to every guy, made out with random people she didn’t even know the names of, skipped class to go get high with them, and God knows what. So I lectured her. A lot. Like, a lot. So much, it got to a point where I even pissed myself off.”

  “I can almost imagine it,” Adrian said, grinning.

  “Whenever we went out, she invited everyone that passed us to sit down with us. And I didn’t want that. Plus, I was with a guy for the first time in my life. I remember thinking, how would I feel if he invited random girls to sit with him every time he went out, and I found out about it?” I always was the jealous type. Not too much, but I was a bit.”

  “So I talked to her and talked to her, tried to make her see what she was doing through my eyes. The attention she was getting wasn’t good. People at school were talking behind her back, and I hated that. She was a good person. But then, she got sick of my lectures. I would call her, she’d say she was too busy to hang out, then I’d find out she was hanging out with some other girls. You know,” I said and shrugged, when I realized it still kind of hurt to remember that part. I’d felt like shit. “We grew apart, and the rest is history.”

  “I’m sorry for saying this, but you were better off without a friend like that,” Adrian said.

  “I don’t know. I should’ve just minded my own business. It was her life. She could do whatever she wanted to do. But I always felt obligated to at least try and make her do the right thing. Or my version of the right thing.”

  “People do that when they care,” Adrian said. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

  “I don’t, but it was kind of my fault. In both cases, and the third. I must’ve been a pain in the ass. No wonder they didn’t want to be friends with me,” I said and laughed awkwardly.

  “No, it wasn’t. You did what you thought was right. In my book, you’re a great friend. They just didn’t appreciate you.”

  “Thanks for saying that.” Though we both knew that wasn’t true.

  “And the third case?”

  I flinched. That one hurt the most, because it was still kind of fresh.

  “The third case was the worst. Zoe was amazing. The best friend I ever had. She was absolutely gorgeous, and funny, and the most supportive person I ever knew.”

  “What happened to you guys?” he said.

  “My big mouth happened,” I said, frowning. I never did learn to control it until it was too late. “She was seeing this guy, and though I didn’t think he was right for her, I kept it to myself and supported her. I’d learned that much from Anna and Marie. We went to college together, and one night, a couple weeks before Dad died, we were in their apartment, having a drink and playing a game of cards. Her boyfriend Mitch was a hairdresser, and she sometimes helped him, because she’d always loved to play with hair. She was even thinking about skipping law school to go work with him. Anyway, he was telling me about her being jealous of every female customer that walked in his shop, and we were laughing. I was having a good time. Zoe denied what Mitch said, and I started teasing her, together with him. I said I could practically imagine her face, and that I knew she hated the women that came to get haircuts from Mitch. It was…it was just a joke. I was teasing her. We—we always did that, I swear.”

  “I know, Willow.”

  “No, really. We always teased each other like that. All the freaking time, and that wasn’t even the first time I’d teased her in front of Mitch like that. Or together with him. We did it all th
e time.”

  “So what happened?” Adrian said.

  I found my hands were shaking. This story hurt worse than the others. I really missed Zoe. She’d been my favorite person in the world once.

  “She got into a fight with him the next day, and Mitch said that even I could see how much of a jealous freak she was. That I’d said it the night before, and that she couldn’t even deny it anymore, because I was her best friend and I knew her better than Mitch did. So she sent me three of the longest texts I’ve ever seen. She said some pretty awful things to me about how I’d intentionally said the things I’d said, how I’d always wanted to ruin her relationship with him, how I was a lying bitch who thought only of herself.”

  “What the hell?” A dumbfounded smile appeared on his face.

  “Yeah.” I flinched. “Anyway, I apologized to her. I told her I hadn’t meant any of it, that it had been just a joke. A stupid joke.”

  “Holy hell, Willow. That’s some story,” Adrian said and sighed.

  “She wrote to me on Facebook about half a year ago. She sent me a picture of her baby boy, and she apologized to me for everything.”

  That had been the worst part. She had married Mitch, and they now had a beautiful baby boy I wanted to see so badly. She’d quit law school and now worked with him in his shop.

  “People do make mistakes sometimes,” Adrian said.

  “Yeah, but mistakes like that always remain. They can’t be erased.”

  I forgave her. I forgave her the second she sent me those terrible texts, but I never forgot. I never would.

  “Are you still friends with her?”

  “No,” I said. “I couldn’t be.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s complicated, Adrian. I can never forget what she said. It could never be the same between us, and I’d rather not have her at all than have half of what we had. I wouldn’t know what to do with it, how to behave around her. How much distance to keep.”

  “But it’s worth a shot, isn’t it? She was your best friend once. And she apologized,” he said.

  I smiled and let it go. He wouldn’t understand no matter what I said, and frankly, it hurt too much to elaborate. “Tell me about your friends.”

  “I can’t really do that,” Adrian said, smiling sadly.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t have any. I never really had any friends. Just my brothers.”

  “Are you joking?”

  I’d never met a person without friends before. Even I had three friends in my life.

  “No, I swear. I never had any friends,” he said, laughing.

  “How on earth did you survive high school?”

  I had Maria for some of it, and Zoe for the rest, and it was damn hard for me.

  “I mostly kept to myself,” he said, shrugging. And when I laughed, he added: “See? You’re not nearly as boring as you think you are.”

  I didn’t believe him for a second, but it didn’t really matter. “Thanks for the coffee, Adrian,” I said and stood up. The vodka bottle was a distant thought now. What I needed was some time to think.

  “It was my pleasure,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow for that cake.”

  “You don’t have to, Adrian. The coffee was more than enough.” The thought of seeing him again the next day did strange things to my stomach.

  “A promise is a promise,” he said.

  I shrugged. It was the only way I knew how to hide my excitement. “Okay, then.”

  He watched me with half a smile on his face that attracted my eyes like a freaking magnet. Unable to handle it, I stepped back and waved awkwardly.

  “I’ll see you.”

  “Until tomorrow, Willow.”

  Adrian Ward

  “Where the hell were you?” Alan said as soon as I walked inside the house the next day.

  “Out.” I was going to head upstairs right away, but he stepped in front of me.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I was out. Get out of my way, Alan.”

  “Have some respect for your older brother,” he spit. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “Nothing at all is the matter,” I said, shrugging. “Unless you count the fact that we might have to murder a human being in a few days.”

  He sighed and stepped back. “We’ve been over this, Adrian.”

  “You’ve been over this. I haven’t.”

  “You’re going to have to get over it, because you’ve barely even spoken to us for the past three days. I don’t like that,” he said.

  “You think I do?” I said, laughing dryly.

  My brothers and my father were all I had. I hated not speaking to them, but I couldn’t. Not while Willow smiled and laughed without knowing that she would be dead soon. Maybe I was being childish, and I realized that there was nothing we could do, but it still sucked that they gave up so easily. It hurt to see them accept it without a fight.

  “Stop being a dickhead, for God’s sake. Come eat dinner with us, at least,” Alan said.

  “I need a shower, and I need to think. I only have eleven days left.” A reminder of the time they gave me.

  Alan stepped aside. “I’m sorry, brother. You know I wouldn’t do it if there was any other way. If you can find an alternative…”

  “Yeah, real rich, Alan. You sit back and relax, and let me do all this myself. I’m sure I’ll come up with the best fucking plan the world has ever seen.” I pushed him aside and went up the stairs.

  My mouth felt funny because I’d eaten chocolate cake with Willow, so I brushed my teeth. In the process, I got lost in thought, and when I finally came around, I realized I’d brushed my gums raw.

  On my way back home, I kept thinking, this is a mistake. Doc and Alan were right about not wanting to know her. Now that I did, it made it much harder than I even thought possible.

  She was beautiful. Smart. Funny and composed. She was a good person. A great person. And it made everything so much worse. It didn’t help that she drove me crazy when she bit her lips. Or how she touched her arm casually when she was nervous. The tension kept growing with each time I saw her, and I wasn’t sure she even noticed how sexy she was. How delicious her lips looked. She had a small mouth, but her lips were made for biting. Sometimes when she spoke, I forgot to listen while thoughts of kissing her took over my mind.

  So…yeah. This had been a very bad idea.

  What the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t allow myself to be attracted to a girl I might have to kill in a few days. The wisest thing to do would be to disappear. I already knew her schedule. When and where she went. I even knew how she walked. It would be easy to disappear, but I couldn’t.

  She hadn’t lived yet. It made me want to be sick, for some reason, when she spoke so lowly of herself, and I had this crazy urge to open her eyes and make her see herself for what she really was. I wanted to push her to try things she never thought to try. Things I never thought to try, myself. Because what if she really died at the end of the month? What memories would she have to hold onto afterwards, if there even was an afterwards?

  Disappearing wasn’t an option. I spent the whole night trying to convince myself otherwise, but it wasn’t. I couldn’t walk away from her now. I hated to lie to her like I had, but there was no other choice. I couldn’t tell her the truth. She’d run away screaming.

  Just as I’d fucked myself over when I’d said that word in what I thought to be a dream, I’d fucked myself over with Willow Robinson again. And just like with the first, I couldn’t walk away from the second, even if I tried. Maybe it had been stupid of me to think knowing her first would be better. But as much as I regretted it, I was also glad. In a fucked up way, I convinced myself that I was showing her the respect she deserved by making what could be the last days of her life better.

  Dad grabbed my arm when he finished breakfast and squeezed once. I looked up from the TV in surprise. He nodded his head for me to follow him. Something that ha
dn’t happened before. Not since that fucking deal we made to keep him alive.

  I followed him outside and to the tool room, like he called it when he could actually speak. It was the mower again. It had broken, or so I understood from his waving hands. And he was asking me for help.

  He never let us help him anymore. Not with anything. He wanted to do everything by himself, so I was right to be surprised. And excited. I hadn’t helped him fix things in forever. It didn’t take longer than fifteen minutes, but the headache was gone in that time, and I felt fresh when we walked out in the yard again.

  Dad put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me. Really looked at me, and it almost felt like he wanted to tell me something. Something important. But after a second, he pressed his lips, nodded at me, and went back inside.

  With no idea what to make of it, I went to my car and left. Four days had passed since George came to our doorstep. Those four days were the only time in my life that I hadn’t been able to stay in my own house. When I was home, everything reminded me of what I’d done. What we’d done. Just looking at Dad’s face was enough. It was still early, but I could stay at the shop and wait for Willow’s lunch break. Her voice calmed me. Willow had become a sort of hideout for me the last couple days.

  I remembered the first time I saw her. She’d looked pretty in the picture, but live, she was beautiful. Every line of her face was almost perfect, but not exactly. It had realness to it, too. And I’d gone and dressed as a homeless guy, with torn fucking sneakers. But I’d gone shopping for the first time the next day, all by myself. I spent more money than I ever had on clothes. It was only fair that I showed up cleaned and decent for our “meetings.”

  But that day, when I opened the door to the shop, she wasn’t behind the counter. She was next to a table where a man sat alone. I didn’t see who he was, because my eyes were stuck on her. She was wearing a dress.

  When she heard the door, she turned. When she saw me, she smiled. Returning it was out of the question. I was stuck for a long minute. She waved at me to wait, and I did so by the door.